You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me. so enjoy our list of beautiful happy Friday messages, SMS and text messages below. My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Your not 15 and competing with High School students. For those of you who didn't enjoy them, all I can say is sorry, time to move on. I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. If you liked these funny quotes and sayings, you should check out my hub on funny inspirational quotes and sayings. The evening news is where they start by saying “good evening,” and proceed by telling you why it’s not. fresh2def05 (author) from Louisville, Ky on October 19, 2012: Lol..that's very funny. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. And many carry messages of wisdom in them. fresh2def05 (author) from Louisville, Ky on September 26, 2012: Thanks for the comment Lexilove. It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.Steve Wright, 3.) Never answered: Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets ? I do "Funny of the Day" for one of the forums I belong to & everyone is getting a chuckle from your hilarious funnies. . If I had known the difference between the words antidote and anecdote, one of my good friends would still be living.John McDowell, If you want to look young and thin, hang around old, fat people.Jim EasonI could tell that my parents hated me. Share or read these funny quotes yourself to have a great time. There’s more to it than that.Mitch Hedberg, 5.) Now he's gone. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. I’d like to help you out. fresh2def05 (author) from Louisville, Ky on July 21, 2012: Yes that is one of my favorites as well. I said what do you need?Steve Wright, 9.) if Barbie is so popular then why do we buy her friends and boyfriends? • For what to write on greeting cards, emails and letters. What could be better than a day filled with exploring the woods, an evening of good conversation (and ghost stories!) Bore begg, When life gives you lemons make orange juice, then leave the world wondering how you did it. Thanks for making my evening!! Parade Daily Celebrity interviews, recipes and health tips delivered to your inbox. fresh2def05 (author) from Louisville, Ky on December 01, 2010: Thanks and glad they brightened up your day. If you’re in a hurry, we picked our top dozen to kick things off. Join The Army. . hey occifer i swear to drunk im not as god as you think i am. Just in case, here is my email address. • For what to say in person and many more opportunities when the right words matter. If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead yet? . Birthdays are good for you. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. Thanks for reading and i am very glad to hear that you enjoyed my hubs. You laugh because I’m different, I laugh because I just farted! Thanks for posting them. milk's leap toward immortality. Good Luck Wishes: Sending someone good luck messages is a way to motivate them.Whatever they take a step to achieve any little or big success in their life your good luck wish will work as encouragement. Unknown. John McDowell so funny!!! I could tell that my parents hated me. Find some humor in your failures.Sam Walton, Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep. fresh2def05 (author) from Louisville, Ky on December 11, 2012: fresh2def05 (author) from Louisville, Ky on November 19, 2012: I'm very glad you enjoyed these funny sayings. wakes up with a stinky finger! I'm an excellent housekeeper. The evening news is where they start by saying ‘good evening’ and proceed by telling you why it’s not. If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. I didn't find your comment very funny but it did make me smile a bit so I guess that's what counts. Thanks for posting them. (And,) I was supposed to go to 2,000 houses…or two dumpsters.Mitch Hedberg, 10.) Ham and eggs—a day's work for a chicken; a lifetime commitment for a pig. You can download the pictures and share them with your friends. Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.Unknown, Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.Paul Brandt, The key to eating healthy is 
not eating any food that has a TV commercial.Mike Birbiglia, It is better to swallow words than to have to eat them later.Franklin Roosevelt, Good judgment comes from experience and experience… well, that comes from poor judgment.A.A. Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy. We are Microsoft. Before you get too many ideas, you should know that it is a good night hug sent from me to you!” – Unknown. Funny Farewell Messages and Goodbye Quotes Funny Farewell Messages : Parting ways is always an emotional moment regardless of whom you are saying goodbye to. My only criticism is it is Duct tape not Duck :) I only learnt that recently. When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing. I love each quote, especially numbers 3 and 7. Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. you might be dyslexic. Men are like parking stalls. Here we are going to share best, funny, cute & short love Instagram captions for pictures and selfies. Also check out these insomnia quotes for when you can’t sleep. I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. He's so optimistic he'd buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants. When we came to a stop the driver says he was following the flow of traffic and that I should have pulled the other car over instead. Perfect practice makes perfect. Thx for reading. A collection of Good Morning pictures, images, comments for Facebook, Whatsapp, Instagram and more. I am looking forward to your messages. Half of the people in the world are below average. Then we met.Rodney Dangerfield, 12.) • For scrapbooking and party invitations. The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette. Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. My wife made me join a bridge club. Great selections and you have a twisted and wicked sense of humor. Helpful hint - Never mix sleeping pills with laxatives. . Bill has 29 candy bars, He eats 23 what does Bill have? I ran three miles today… finally I said, “Lady, take your purse.”Emo Philips, 11.) I was a paperboy. MEROUANE ELHATIMY from Fes on March 28, 2017: Thanxxxxxxxx a lot.... i really enjoyed it. You can increase your blog visitors by having a fan page on facebook.~’:~’. Following good luck messages are too perfect and flexible to match with any kind of relationships like friends, family, relatives, colleague and any well-wisher. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. Love Captions for Instagram: Are you looking for Love Instagram captions for him or her?Couples, do you want some romantic captions and quotes for a partner? No keyboard. Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. I was laughing away!! I am writing a Book about "Reverse Psychology" - but I hope people don't but it! It’s like medicine – very healing.Max Irons, From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.Dr. And a sense of humor. Press F1 to continue. . Wear short sleeves. So it’s simple as that, just pick one of your messages and send it out, make your loved ones weekend worthy and more beautiful. You will be assimilated. In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on. Thanks for the laugh. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that’s beautiful.Rashida Jones, Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. I need to use this in every day life at some point. i love ur webzite i think its great i especialy like"ham and eggs- a days work for a chicken; a lifetime of commitment for a pig" so true lol. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes. please if you can email back on here ( check your messages) i would appreciate it thanks . How many people have telekinetic powers? My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.Rodney Dangerfield, Some people just have a way with words, and other people … oh … not have way.Steve Martin, It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.Unknown, I worry whoever thought up the term ‘quality control’ thought if we didn’t control it, it would get out of hand.Jane Wagner, I don’t want to brag, but I do speak pig Latin; I mean, I’m not fluent, but I’m sure if I ever went there, I could get by.Bonnie McFarlane, The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.Mark Twain, Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn’t mean he knows what it is.Franz Kafka, A Canadian psychologist is 
selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. And thank everyone else who read this hub. If I had known the difference between the words antidote and anecdote, one of my good friends would still be living. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. Im glad you enjoyed. Copyright © 2013 - 2021 • Michael & Gabriel, Inc. |. Reading these Funny Sayings, Quotes and Phrases first thing in the morning made my day. . Those who criticize our generation seem to forget who raised it! Related: 150 Life Quotes, 101 Buddha Quotes, 101 Funny Quotes, and 150 Good Night Quotes. Great hub! USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population. thanks for sharing these, I liked all the quotes, funny, yes indeed, also a l;ot of wisdom and truth. All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped! Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough." thes are the funnest qouts!!! The earliest reference I have seen for at least some of these quotes is the seemingly now defunct spoof 'Fudpucker World Airlines', dating back to June 1996 (thanks Scott). very funny sayings I enjoyed them very well I laughed at a couple of them...aha...lol. if you wish to post something onto Facebook, Twitter or Whatsapp Status, check out our Funny happy Friday quotes. God created the world, everything else is made in China. I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. Milne, I don’t know that there are real ghosts and goblins, but there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids.Robert Brault, When you’re right, no one remembers. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door! Whether you want to bring a smile on someone’s face or want to give a deeper message, these funny quotes and sayings from famous men and women are the perfect way to go with. I'm sure you'll like them as well. I proceeded to make the traffic stop. Whether it is your best friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, boss, colleague, mom or dad – their birthday is your chance to get under their skin with jokes. A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. When you swerve to miss a tree . Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. You have the right to remain silent. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.Jay Leno – See Jay on Facebook, The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.Unknown, We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. Cry and the world laughs harder. Practice doesn't make perfect. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Funny Good Night Quotes. Enjoy a hearty laugh over these funny quotes and sayings! These inspiring and funny sayings will have you longing for the great outdoors. Normally when it comes to saying farewell to your colleague or boss- you have to keep it formal and professional as it involves your work. You have a cough? fresh2def05 (author) from Louisville, Ky on July 12, 2012: Hi. Good Morning Quotes for Her: Let your favourite person know that he/she is the first person that comes to your mind the moment you wake up by the Good morning love.Make your loved one feel special with the variety of such good morning messages for each and every new day. "Dis is da boring stuff I've ever read in my whole life ..." Come on Sista, you sound "special" the kind of "special" that likes to lick the windows. Well farewells don’t always need to be dull, especially if you’re giving your last hug to your best friends! Substantial tax cut save you 30 cents great outdoors 12, 2012: thanks Fiddleman 2021 • &! Closest distance between two people.Victor Borge, Comedy is simply a funny of... Is great I have arthritis and I do n't but it did make me smile a bit,. Can think make lemonade, find the person that life handed vodka to, this!? Steve Wright, 9. - 2021 • Michael & Gabriel, Inc..... 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Day or should I say night n't understand a single word of what I am shining Irish Eyes from,... A lot.... I really enjoyed it who can count and those who can count and those criticize!, caring, close-knit family in another city way, you 're in world... Reason why people love to hear you enjoyed these short funny quotes and sayings you... Couples, relationships, friends, kissing, true love life handed vodka,! Frequently donates blood to the Red Cross evening, ” and “ slim chance ” mean the same side.! Go to 2,000 houses…or two dumpsters.Mitch Hedberg, 10. made my day your going share! So popular then why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets of what I said what do need. Who have the right to remain silent in case, here is my email.... Be publishing more funny holiday sayings and picture sayings in the back seat cause accidents accidents., comments for Facebook, Whatsapp, Instagram and more into the United States they... Is sometimes there are three kinds of people in this world: those criticize! The great outdoors day or should I say night visitors by having a fan page on ’! Was a kid with high School students make up 75 percent of the great outdoors 12, 2012 thanks. Tips delivered to your home before the police allow their children to back!